Saturday, November 1, 2008

Living for Love!

Our sweet boy having fun at his Aunt Chrystals.
I took this photo exactly one week before Connor died.

Have you ever had the blessing of being in the presence of someone who lived out their daily life simply to pour out love onto others? Being deeply loved by someone is something that I don't believe can be adequately described in earthly words. Certainly, many poets and writers have wrote beautiful expressions of love but the depth of "true" love can be often difficult to describe. In 1 Corinthians Paul describes love like this,

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "jump" and it jumps but do not love, I am nothing.
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but do not love I've gotten nowwhere,
So no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up
Love cares more for others than for self
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have
Love doesn't strut
Doesn't have a swelled head
Doesn't force itself on others
Isn't always "me first"
Doesn't fly off the handle
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others
Doesn't revel when others grovel
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth
Puts up with anything
Trusts God always
Always looks for the best
Never looks back
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies......" MSG

I love reading the modern Message translation of this beautiful passage as it reminds me so plainly of what life is about.....LOVING OTHERS and that LOVE is much more than the physical expression we so often think of as love. Throughout this week I have thought deeply about love and how I have been loved throughout my life by many people. This thoughtful time has been brought about in my heart and mind because of a time of remembrance of a little boy who was the purest example of earthly love that I have ever know. His expressions of love were not offered in beautiful words nor were they presented in eloquent writings. He loved me with his eyes, he loved me with his touches and he loved me with his reminders that nothing in this world is too heavy or burdensome that love cannot make better. This precious little love was my son, Connor. Oh how I just love to see his name. Just seeing it written is a vivid reminder of the beauty that was bestowed upon me for 3 1/2 years of my life. He was beautiful. He filled my days with joy and meaning and I will be FOREVER grateful that my GOD granted me the great gift of experiencing Connor's love for the short time that I did. Thanks be to the God of the Universe who created all things and chose me to be Connor's mommy. Thank you Connor for showing me the beauty of letting love penetrate every nook and cranny of my everyday life.

Yesterday, our family marked the 5th Anniversary of the day that our little love, Connor made his journey to Heaven. It was a time of sweet and sad remembrance of a day in which we experienced deep deep loss. I miss Connor tremendously but I rejoice in the knowledge that our separation is only for a period of time for "soon and very soon we are going to see our KING" and when I see my KING I will be reunited with my little love, Connor never to be separated again.

It touches my heart to know just how many still remember us in their prayers on this day and we thank you for your thoughts, prayers, emails and phonecalls. You loved us on the day we lost Connor and you continue to love on us 5 years later....thank you! And for the birthday wishes for me...thank you as well. As I said it was a sweet and sad day for all of us. We spent part of the day at the zoo, we released balloons at a favorite hiking spot and spent the evening at a local church having some fun and being loved on by some beautiful Believers who didn't even know us but blessed us with their loving hugs, smiles. And now, may all who read these words know just how much you are loved. I pray that you have someone who loves you like Connor loved me...a pure earthly example of just how deeply your Heavenly Father loves you. And remember that,

"But for right now, until that completeness we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:
Trust steadily in God,
Hope unswervingly,
And the best of the three is LOVE." MSG

With My Love to you,


Jeanette said...

Nichole, what a beautiful tribute to your sweet Connor. I thought about you and prayed for you often yesterday. It sounds like you had a precious time as a family honoring him and praising God for his life and his love. What a blessing it must have been to be surrounded by people to love on you yesterday. I pray that the Lord will continue to bring you peace and joy through the sorrow and sadness and that He will always remind you of His sovereignty and His majesty. What an amazing gift you have in Connor, what a testimony you have for our Lord and Savior! I love you my friend!

sara said...

Oh, Nichole - what precious words of remembrance for your precious CONNOR! The way you talk of his journey to Heaven makes me smile for him and the splendor that he is enjoying right now!

I am sorry that I missed your birthday- I am so thankful that you got to spend your day surrounded by Believers & the HOPE that we all have in HIM!

I love you, sister!! BIG HUGS,


Anonymous said...

Nichole, Several times Jesus brought you to my mind and heart during last week. I loved reading your reflections about your wonderful Connor and also look forward to the day when we can meet him in Heaven. Your beautiful words are very grounding for me as we struggle with Lillee. Thank you for bringing me back to THE purpose for living: to love our Lord and love others as He loves us. God Bless You, Shellie