Remembering Connor

Six years ago today my sweet Connor was welcomed into the splendor of Heaven by our Lord. I always struggle with how to remember him on a day that was so tragic, so painful and so very life-changing. In an instant, on October 31, 2003 my life stopped, and was never the same again. God has brought about healing and restoration in my heart and in the life of my family over the past six years yet on this day I still ache to hold my son. I long to gaze into his dark eyes and to feel his tender touches. I wonder what life would be like if he was still with us and I think about what he is doing in Heaven right now. My heart still hurts and I still ask the question, "why?". But despite the pain that still rears its ugly head occasionally I rest in the hope that I will one day see my baby's face again.

Yesterday I couldn't get the Mercy Me song "Homesick" out of my mind. I truly love the song for it expresses the cry of my heart as I think about being separated (temporarily) from my precious child. I thought that I would share the words of the song in case you haven't heard the song.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyeAnd in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Giving thanks today that for those whose hope is in the Lord, there are no goodbyes!

With a heart that is near Heaven today,

Nichole

Happy Birthday to my Hubby!

Life has been beyond busy for us here at the Minot house and each week I tell myself that I am going to catch our blog up and then the week flies by with no blogging. I am hoping to use the weekend to post some pics of our recent activities and fun times. I decided to begin my catch up with a special post to my husband who celebrated his 50th Birthday last Tuesday.

I am truly blessed to call Mike my husband. Each year as well celebrate his birthday I am reminded of how precious he is to me and our children. There are so many things that I adore about him:

I love the way he loves Cody, Grace and Emily. There is nothing more beautiful than to see watch him with the kids.

His passionate love for the Lord has never faded and is an inspiration to me each day.

Mike's devotion and dedication to our family is always so evident in everything he does and the security that brings to all of us is beyond words.

He has such a tender heart and I love how he is so deeply emotional about those moments of life that most men would ignore.

I think that what I love about him the most is that he always encourages me to embrace and enjoy the simple things of life.

I am reminded of something Dory said to Merlin in the movie "Fi*ding Ne*o, " because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home." She also goes on to talk about how she is able to do things with Marlin that she can't do alone. That is how I feel about my husband...I am so much better with him than I am alone and I am so thankful that God gave him to me.

Happy Birthday to my Honey!

Summer Fun at the New Jersery Shore with the Chatties

Finally, I have been able to sneak a few moments and post pictures from our June trip to Spring Lake, NJ. Our online group of mom's affectionately known as The Chatty Girls made our annual trip to visit Lucy's home at the shore. I cannot begin to describe what a wonderful time Emily, Grace and I had visiting with our friends. I am continually amazed at what a special bond our girls share and what a closeness the mom's have. Lucy and her mom Laura were fabulous hostesses and we were treated to yummy food, relaxing beach time, fun times at the boardwalk amusement park and face to face chatting time which for me was THE BEST! I don't get to check in with "my girls" as often as I like so for me it was wonderful to have the weekend to catch up with these wonderful women. Can't wait for October!!!

Chatty Mom's minus a few

Chatty China Girls on the beach. (can you tell that we all have the same taste in clothes)

Emily and Mia

Grace

Emily and Mia deciding if the water was too cold...believe me it was freezing.

Shaoey and Emily...Kunming sisters. Amazing at how these girls look so much alike.

Train ride Venturing into the water

Checking it out.

Rides at the Amusment Park

Walking to the beach

Sandcastle building

Emily and Anna Claire take a break from the cold water

Grace had a blast digging in the sand

Oh I just love this one of Lucy and her movie star shades

More rides at the Amusement Park

Emily our official photographer

Eating Zeppoles....sinfully fried dough dusted with powdered sugar.

Emily loves the Zeppoles

Carousel FUN!

Shuang Shuang, Shoey and Emily share a ride

The two Emily's

Our blond beauties!

The big sister's

Yummy Chocolate Chip Pancake Breakfast compliments of Miss Laura

Breakfast time

Everyone loved Lucy's piano

Lucy and Emily

Everyone arrives and are all smiles

Missing in Action!

PICS FROM GLENWOOD SPRINGS, COLORADO

Glenwood Canyon

Hiking down from Hanging Lake. (we only made it 1/3 of the way up)

Sliding down the Hot Springs Pool Slide

View of the Hot Springs Pool. (water was a consistent 90 degrees)

Friends from Florida who were spending some time in Vail

Grace and her friend Luke (she was so happy to see him)

Emily and Sam (love Sam's face, I am not sure that he was happy to see Emily)

Vail was beautiful...think we might be heading back for ski season.

Cody showing off his new glasses


PICS OF SOME COLORADO FLOWERS FROM OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

PICS FROM A LOCAL HIKE

SAYING GOODBYE IS NEVER EASY

"Elimy" and Mya...friends forever

Moving day for our friends (sniff sniff, believe me it was far more than a sniff)

Goodbye dinner with our friends

The girls, me, Meredith and Sara

Our handsome hubbies, Ken, Mike and Bill

Good friends

All of our kiddos

The only shot I have of Emily's b'day and I got none of Cody's (shame on me)

Yes, that is what we have been here in the blogging world...Missing In Action! Life is full of action involving all kinds of things and with so many options in computer-land I feel as though I have to choose my venues. Sometimes I am real active on FaceBook other times I try to stay connected with my Yahoo Group and other times I am just shopping and surfing. Anyway, I have fallen away from blogging which is something that I love mostly because it forces me to record the happenings of our family. As all of you know life can swallow you up if you let it and you simply operate in a reactionary mode without taking the time to "smell the flowers" and soak in the goodness of the God. Blogging helps me notice the valuable moments in life that I so easily can miss. I find myself getting way to overwhelmed with the simple management of my family that I don't truly enjoy these precious things that surround me. This is a theme that constantly runs through my life and one would think that I could learn my lesson but alas I will do well for a while and then fall back into a state of "housekeeper", "cook", "taxi driver" and leave "mom" and "wife" in the wake of the chaos. I am constantly on a search for books or websites that offer suggestions that help in the management of daily life so that I can be better organized and have more time to have fun. I have saturated myself with Kathy Peel and FlyLady suggestions but still find myself with loads of laundry that I can't determine whether it's clean or dirty, a constant sink full of dirty dishes and toys scattered all over our house so if any of you have good suggestions on time management for moms I welcome the insights because I have yet to find a system that works for me. I grapple with whether I should just relax and settle into the acceptance that this is just my season of life or am I truly as disorganized as I feel. I so desperately want my kids to remember me as a mom who had fun with them and didn't constantly fuss at them to clean up but at the same time how much dirt and disorganization is acceptable. Nevertheless, I will continue to try to stay ontop of things while focusing on enjoying life with my wonderful family. Speaking of my wonderful family here is what we have been up to over the past few months:

*We celebrated Emily's 4th birthday and Cody's 12th birthday! I cannot believe that Emily is already 4 and that we are one year away from having a teenager...YIKES!

*Cody is doing well with his Diabetes. It is really hard sometimes and really exhausting but it has now become a way of life. He had a brief time of some high numbers but we were able to switch his insulin and things are good now. We are hoping for an insulin pump soon and praying for a cure. He recently had to get glasses which he loves and looks so handsome.

*In May we traveled back to Florida and moved the remainder of our stuff out to Colorado and have now become permanent residents of the State of Colorado. It was a hard move emotionally but we have settled back into life here in Colorado and have loved having all of our belongings in one place.

*Both of our Florida condo's are now rented to terrific couples for which we are so thankful.

*We said goodbye to our friends Sara, Bill, Cole, Carter and Mya as they left Colorado for Iowa. It was so hard to say goodbye to such precious friends and we still are missing them everyday. I am planning a trip in a couple of weeks to see Sara and I CAN'T WAIT!!!

*The girls and I had a fabulous weekend at the Jersery Shore with "The Chatty Girls". (pictures coming soon) and thanks to Laura, Lucy's mom for hosting all of us chatties.

*We have been LOVING our Colorado summer. After years of sweltering hot and humid FL summers it has been glorious here. The flowers are gorgeous and we have loved hiking, biking and my favorite, patio dining. I love being able to have breakfast, lunch and dinner outside on our patio and have loved trying some new recipe's on the grill. We also have loved watching the beautiful birds visit our bird feeder and bird bath in the backyard. God's creation is incredible.

*Cody and Grace have enjoyed some great camps at our local YMCA and I have loved having some time to myself as well as one on one time with Emily.

*Mike and I are working hard at being committed to working out and eating healthy. (Well, Mike has always been committed) I am loving experimenting with new recipes and are loving the results of filling our bodies will healthy food and lots of exercise. I am running again which I LOVE and have been encouraged by Mike to start training for a half marathon. We shall see how training plays into our schedule this fall. I have always wanted to run a half marathon but have never been disciplined enough to train. I have also added some weight training to my exercise regiment. Now that I am in my 40's toning up the flab is a little harder than it was 5 years ago.

*We enjoyed a little vacation to Vail and Glenwood Springs. (see photos)

*We are gearing up for our second year of homeschooling which I am hoping will be a little easier second time around. I still don't feel confident in my abilities but continue to believe that God has called us to do this and want to be obedient. Our year will look a little different in that both Cody and Grace will be attending a part-time school two days a week which will give them interaction with other kids along with giving Mike and I a little break on teaching some of the subjects.

*Mike's book is coming along nicely and he is hoping to have it completed and ready to offer proposals to publishers by the end of year. I am so proud of him and know that God is going to do a great work through Mike's faithfulness to pursue this passion. I am so blessed to call him my husband and treasure each day I get to spend with him.

*We are soaking up some great teaching on worship at our church and are learning that "Worship is my active, all of life response to the worth of who God is and what He does." Worshipping God is not limited to singing songs of praise at a church service but allowing worship to invade EVERY aspect of one's life can be transforming. We are so blessed to be a part of a church with such rich and powerful teaching.

Well, that is about it. We continue to baske in the blessings of God. I often think of how unworthy I am of such goodness. God continually pours out evidence of his love upon our family. Sure, our days are not perfect and we have tough spots and I act out of my flesh many times but when I step back and take a look at our life I have to say "WOW!" Hoping and praying that life is good for you too!

Love,

Nichole

Remembering Gotcha Day!

This picture reminds me of how her heart was aching.

Look at her now...God is so good!
So full of joy!

2009

2007 Withing hours of arriving home....I just love her face.

Now

Then

Gotcha Day 2009
Gotcha Day 2007

Gotcha Day 2009

Gotcha Day 2007

Oh she was not happy

Seeing Emily for the first time

My re-entry into the computer world this week has resulted in somewhat of an unproductive week but I have enjoyed catching up. It has been nice to re-connect with my blogging friends and their families as I have loved seeing what you all have been up too as well as soaked up the wisdom of what God is doing in your lives. WOW! God is so good and I am continually amazed at His creativity in revealing Himself to us and thank all of you for sharing about the places He is taking you in your walks as well as all the fun things that you are doing with your families.

Well, before I take a little break from my marathon computer immersion I did want to share more than just a sentence or two about our 2ND year anniversary of Emily's Gotcha Day! For those of us in the adoption world Gotcha Day is so special and significant in the life of our son's and daughters. It is that day when the waiting was over and we held our children for the first time. A day filled with such a myriad of emotions that is often difficult to describe but nonetheless etched so deeply in our hearts that we will never forget the details of it. On Feb. 25 we celebrated 2 years of receiving Emily and how I loved remembering that special day of seeing her for the very first time but more than recalling the details of the day I have loved being awe-struck by seeing how much my little china girl has grown. Not a physical growth but emotional growth that is the result of healing. I have been reminded of how wounded my baby girl was when she came to us and how broken her little heart was when she was stripped of all that she knew. How scary it must have been to lose all that was familiar and be forced into a world that was so strange. She was strong, she was brave and she let us love her. Our love was unconditional even when she didn't know how to love us back. It healed the open wounds of her heart and allowed her to grow into the amazing little girl she is today. Her capacity to now love us back is incredible. 2 years ago I could have never imagined the beauty of what lay inside of a frightened little girl. I couldn't see it but God did and I am humbled today that despite all of my imperfections as a mom He would have enough confidence in me to grant me the joy having Emily as my daughter. As I have thought about her healing and the confidence and security that fills her along with the joy that now springs from her spirit. I am reminded of the fact that we are all broken in some way. We have wounds that are open and festering or we have battle scars from being beaten up by life in a fallen world. Underneath all the hurt and pain that we work so hard to mask is beauty that God sees so clearly. I know we often think that we have to live with the wounds and battle scars but it is through the unconditional love of a God who desperately wants to bind up those wounds we can grown into amazing men and women who display joy for all to see. Healing can transform us in our brokenness just like we have witnessed such a visible change in the life of our daughter through our willingness to let our Father lavish His great love upon us. We can be testimonies of His love and draw others out of their brokenness and into the beautiful life which God has prepared for us.

2 years have passed since I held Emily for the first time and ALL of us Minot's have undergone healing through loving. It has been the most amazing 2 years and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to a God who called us out of complacency and comfort and changed us through a precious little girl from Kunming, China. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!

Family

Sailing