Ahh, to sit on the beach with a warm breeze blowing listening to the soft sounds of waves crashing against the sand. Then the phone rang, jolting me back into the reality of my life. A life that is now characterized by chaos and stress. I honestly believe that somewhere along this path I have been walking, my mind was lost and I do wonder if it will ever be found. Just in the past couple of days I have brewed at least 2 maybe 3 cups of coffee in my Keurig only to discover coffee pouring down my kitchen counter for lack of a cup. I drove out of the driveway the other morning without a child, ran a stop sign, tried to make a bank deposit at the dry cleaners all the while leaving the house every day not remembering whether I brushed my teeth or not. The stretching that has occurred over the past 1 ½ years has caused me to become frayed, not at all like what I used to be. I lose my temper so easily, I am disorganized and unfocused and filled constantly with negativity and fatigue. I have neglected some of the most important things in my life in exchange for a full-time job working, sometimes 45-50 hours week with the addition of weekends spent working on all the things I couldn’t get done during the week. I am exhausted all the time having poured my time and energy into other people and lacking the energy to make it through a page of a chapter book with my own kids before falling asleep. I have debated on whether I should just close the blog given that I don’t have the time to devote to keep it current coupled with the fact that we just don’t do much blog-worthy stuff anymore. I barely even take photos. I know, not a very pretty picture which is why I really haven’t wanted to blog. I am a firm believer that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all and I really haven’t had anything uplifting to say recently. Life certainly hasn’t turned out exactly like I had planned but then sometimes it doesn’t, we are forced to accept things that we can’t change and live with decisions we thought were a good move at the time. We simply just have to make lemonade out of lemons. Well, along with my mind my love and ability to pull together culinary treats has vanished amidst the chaos of managing a demanding job, 4 kids, a house, laundry, grocery shopping, errand running and just making sure I am fully dressed (with matching shoes) when I leave the house. I am hopeful however that with a few weeks of disconnecting from my job that I can at least recover a recipe for some sweet lemonade in life. It may not happen but I desperately desire to reclaim some order to my house (at least have some clean clothes to wear), re-connect some friendships and family relationships that have been severely neglected and love on my kiddo’s who I know have missed their mommy. So while this blog post is not filled with beautiful pics of fun summer times of our family, I do hope it may let some mom who may be struggling with life know that she is not alone.
Hoping for some Lemonade!