Remembering Gotcha Day!

This picture reminds me of how her heart was aching.

Look at her now...God is so good!
So full of joy!

2009

2007 Withing hours of arriving home....I just love her face.

Now

Then

Gotcha Day 2009
Gotcha Day 2007

Gotcha Day 2009

Gotcha Day 2007

Oh she was not happy

Seeing Emily for the first time

My re-entry into the computer world this week has resulted in somewhat of an unproductive week but I have enjoyed catching up. It has been nice to re-connect with my blogging friends and their families as I have loved seeing what you all have been up too as well as soaked up the wisdom of what God is doing in your lives. WOW! God is so good and I am continually amazed at His creativity in revealing Himself to us and thank all of you for sharing about the places He is taking you in your walks as well as all the fun things that you are doing with your families.

Well, before I take a little break from my marathon computer immersion I did want to share more than just a sentence or two about our 2ND year anniversary of Emily's Gotcha Day! For those of us in the adoption world Gotcha Day is so special and significant in the life of our son's and daughters. It is that day when the waiting was over and we held our children for the first time. A day filled with such a myriad of emotions that is often difficult to describe but nonetheless etched so deeply in our hearts that we will never forget the details of it. On Feb. 25 we celebrated 2 years of receiving Emily and how I loved remembering that special day of seeing her for the very first time but more than recalling the details of the day I have loved being awe-struck by seeing how much my little china girl has grown. Not a physical growth but emotional growth that is the result of healing. I have been reminded of how wounded my baby girl was when she came to us and how broken her little heart was when she was stripped of all that she knew. How scary it must have been to lose all that was familiar and be forced into a world that was so strange. She was strong, she was brave and she let us love her. Our love was unconditional even when she didn't know how to love us back. It healed the open wounds of her heart and allowed her to grow into the amazing little girl she is today. Her capacity to now love us back is incredible. 2 years ago I could have never imagined the beauty of what lay inside of a frightened little girl. I couldn't see it but God did and I am humbled today that despite all of my imperfections as a mom He would have enough confidence in me to grant me the joy having Emily as my daughter. As I have thought about her healing and the confidence and security that fills her along with the joy that now springs from her spirit. I am reminded of the fact that we are all broken in some way. We have wounds that are open and festering or we have battle scars from being beaten up by life in a fallen world. Underneath all the hurt and pain that we work so hard to mask is beauty that God sees so clearly. I know we often think that we have to live with the wounds and battle scars but it is through the unconditional love of a God who desperately wants to bind up those wounds we can grown into amazing men and women who display joy for all to see. Healing can transform us in our brokenness just like we have witnessed such a visible change in the life of our daughter through our willingness to let our Father lavish His great love upon us. We can be testimonies of His love and draw others out of their brokenness and into the beautiful life which God has prepared for us.

2 years have passed since I held Emily for the first time and ALL of us Minot's have undergone healing through loving. It has been the most amazing 2 years and I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to a God who called us out of complacency and comfort and changed us through a precious little girl from Kunming, China. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!

Family

Sailing

Cody's Baptism

Finding Balance

Well, it has been such a long time since I have blogged. I know that you all can relate to how sometimes life just swallows you up leaving little time for the extras in life. That has been the case with me in the recent months and as I was pondering many things over the weekend the words of my precious friend Amy rang through my ears. Amy is ALWAYS so wonderful at reminding me that I need to allow myself some enjoyment amidst the responsibilities and that does not include grocery shopping by myself. Don't we all need a good friend who can look us straight in the face and say "it is OK to do something for yourself." I think that as mom's we don't give ourselves permission to sit back and love the simple things in life that do nothing more than give us pleasure but oh how we NEED that. How difficult it is to find the right balance? In thinking about how severely unbalanced my life has become I came to the realization that when I am taking the time to do the things that I love I am more settled, more calm and much happier and amazingly more productive. One of the things that I love is my connection with other mom's through the computer. So here I am back from being MIA...and hopefully I can find a nice spot of balance that allows me the enjoyment I receive from connecting with my computer friends while staying on top of my responsibilities to my kiddos and husband.

I know that to recount the events our family during the past couple of months would be impossible so I will just hit a few high lights and I am going to try to put together a collage of pictures. I am still not proficient at doing those but I am going to give it a try again.

*We thoroughly enjoyed our time in FL as we spent lots of time with family, caught up with some wonderful friends, spent a day sailing on the Indian River and had the opportunity to absorb the beauty of God's creation by watching some magnificent sunrises.

*Happiness filled our hearts as we had the joy of seeing Cody testify to our friends and family a decision that he made 6 years ago of accepting Jesus as his Lord and Savior through Baptism.

*We were thrilled to return to Colorado and have been pleasantly surprised with fabulous spring-like weather. (Mike hasn't shoveled snow since being back to CO)

*We are playing catch-up with school given that we took about 6 weeks off while in FL.

*Mike and I were VIP guests at a Marriage Conference hosted by Focus on the Family where I was able to see Beth Moore speak in person. (Was hoping to have the opportunity to chat with her over lunch but she had to leave the conference right after speaking)

*Mike attended the Christian Writer's Guild Conference and had a chance to meet with a couple of publishing companies and receive some insights as to the aspects of bringing a book to print.

*We celebrated Emily's 2ND year of coming into our family.

*We are continuing to fine-tune the management of Cody's Diabetes which at times can be exhausting and frustrating but were thankful to locate a great pediatric endocrinologist who opened our eyes to some new insights.

*Grace began reading. HOORAY!!!!

*I am juggling lots of things which included schooling Grace and getting her ready for 1st Grade, editing Mike's book, being a book-keeper as well as the normal duties of taking care of our home and family. Whew!!!!

*We are looking forward to making Colorado a more permanent home and hopefully will be able to move the remainder of our belongings to CO soon.

Soooo, that is about it for now. I am looking forward to checking in with all of my favorite blogs and my chatty girls and see what I have been missing.

As always love and hugs to you all,

Nichole

A Place Called Home

What I used to call home

Being back here in Florida for a couple of weeks has in many ways been an incredible time of having my eyes opened to many things that I just didn't notice our perhaps couldn't notice when I lived here every day. I have seen myself and how God has used our move to Colorado in such a new light and have been humbled by how much God desired to heal so much in me that He orchestrated such a drastic change in my life to accomplish so much in this crusty ol' heart of mine. As I have engaged the true emotions of my heart and spent time traveling through the streets of this place I call home I have had the past flood my mind and heart. Memories fill my mind as I travel down a certain road or have coffee in my favorite coffee shop or I reminisce with friends. Many of these memories are moments in time from my past that are precious and stir such happy emotions while some are deeply painful. It is those deeply painful ones that have caused me to ponder my growth and healing over the past 4 1/2 months. The "lightbulb" moment of just how far God has brought me overwhelmed me the other day as I was taking the beautiful scenic drive along the river where we live. It is a drive that I have taken hundreds of times and one that leads me past a house that I love. It is a house that Mike and I designed and built just after we were married. A house that I had poured all of myself into and the physical place where some of the most precious memories of my life were made. It also is a place where I lost one of the most treasured gifts I will ever know, my son Connor. As you can imagine the emotions which are tied to this home are deep. When we built this house I envisioned Mike and I raising our kids there, growing old there and ultimately being there until I went to be with the Lord in my Heavenly home but as life would direct us along a different path we sold our beloved home in exchange for a condo which was more handicap accessible for our son Connor. It was during the time that we were awaiting the completion of our condo that my Connor made his way to Heaven. The house was already sold and we were renting from the new owners until the condo was completed. The day that we left this house rich with memories was horribly difficult. My sweet sister held me as I wept on that day wishing some how I could go back in time to a place when all was grand and the house was filled with the joyful life from our family but the truth on that day was that it was time to say goodbye and on that day I said goodbye, physically but not emotionally. For many years I would take this drive by "my house" and drive slowly grumbling at the new paint color on the front door or the removal of the playyard my dad built for the kids or the lack of care of the fruit trees that were so precious to my husband. I would be filled with a longing to walk up to the front door and beg for the new owners to give me my house back. I know it sounds so crazy but my heart was truly so tied to this home and I have come to realize that the hold that this physical place had on me was in fact a barrier to my healing and being able to hold onto the past and treasure it while letting it go at the same time.

And so I am driving this road once again the other day and as I approach this house I notice a few things that are different. I slow down and gaze upon the steps where I sat and watched Cody play on those warm Florida afternoons or the window of the room where my Connor slept and the garage that I drove in and out of hundreds of times with a car full of precious cargo and I realized I no longer had a longing to be in this house. It didn't bother me that there were changes and for the first time in 4 years it no longer felt like my home, I truly knew in my heart that it belonged to someone else. And so I thought why after all this time do I feel so different? Well, when God moved in our hearts and gave us a vision to move to CO, HE had a plan. And a part of HIS wonderful plan was to give me another place to call "home". Last year when God bestowed upon us the gift of our house in Colorado I could have never imagined that He was giving me more than a house. In an instant as I drove away from my former house I was flooded with some beautiful memories of my baby boy who I know is enjoying his face to face time with the God who made him. In a fast forward fashion I recalled things that I hadn't thought of in a long time and not once did a thought of the day he died invade my happy thoughts and almost as quickly as those thoughts rushed me the projection of thinking of the memories which are awaiting us at our home in Colorado....snowed in days with soup and hot cocoa, movie parties in the theater, sleepovers with a house full of giggling girls, lively basketball games in the driveway, a house full of teenagers, first dates, neighborhood parties, home group meetings and long dinners with dear friends. To say the least in the short 5 minute drive back to our condo I was overwhelmed, in a good way. And so, I said my final goodbyes to a place and a time of life that I loved. I hold in my heart all that is necessary to preserve my memories and no longer feel paralyzed to move forward and call my new house "home".

Christmas Moments

Christmas was a flurry of non-stop activity for us. We literally hit the ground running upon our arrival in Florida and haven't really had a chance to stop. I have to admit that I am quite anxious to have some days of no activities or events. I desperately need to clean and organize our condo not to mention try to dig us out of the sea of laundry which has consumed us. Despite the aftermath we had wonderful celebrations of Christmas and enjoyed sharing the time with our families.

As I mentioned in an early post, we treated the girls to their first performance of The Nutcracker Ballet...not sure if I will ever get them to another one though. I sure did enjoy it.

We spent Christmas Eve at my brother and sister in laws' home and enjoyed more food than we could ever eat and the girls added some Hannah Montana paraphernalia to their collection.

Christmas day was extremely mellow in that we didn't leave our condo and stayed in our jammies most of the day. I prepared Christmas brunch for Mike's mom and dad and we enjoyed a simple meal of potato soup, salad and bread with my mom and dad. It was really nice to just have a quite day. The day ended with a birthday cake for Jesus...(my best friend Lissa's, Mee-mee's Red Velvet).

The day after Christmas was spent celebrating with my family at my sister's house. We had decided to celebrate the day after Christmas because my grandparents and aunt drove down from GA on Christmas Day and we wanted to wait for them. Of course we had tons of good ol' traditional foods and the kids (and adults) had a blast rocking out to my nephew's Guitar Hero. I see one of those in our future. Mike and I got to snuggle with my sister's precious baby girl Bella and of course there was an abundance of gift opening.

Mike and I enjoyed an afternoon and evening by ourselves while the kids had some time with my parents and grandparents. We shared in the wedding of our good friends daughter. What a beautiful celebration it was as we had the privilege of seeing such a wonderful work of the Lord through the life of a mom and dad and their only daughter. The love of two parents for their baby girl as they rejoiced over her marriage was incredibly wonderful to witness. And I danced with my husband for the first time in YEARS. That treat was more precious than anything.

We had the pleasure of spending New Year's Eve with my sister and brother in law which was such a treat in that we had not had much alone time with them since arriving in Florida.

So that is about it. It is hard to believe that 2008 has come and gone and that we are now embarking on a new year. I have thought alot about my goals for the new year and have a long list of things that I hope to accomplish in the upcoming 365 days and am looking forward to what lies ahead for us as a family. God blessed us beyond our imaginations during the past year and more than anything I pray that as I begin this new year that I will always honor Him in everything that I do and say. I have thought and prayed for my sweet friends who are awaiting the blessing of a child whether it be through pregnancy or adoption. I can't wait to experience what I know will be a year of joy as God brings about the gift of precious children to beautiful families. Blessings to each of you in the new year and to all of my "blogging friends" I look forward with much excitement in sharing this year with your families as well.

Christmas Celebration at my Sisters Cousins

My sister and her baby girl.

My nana, aunt and sister relaxing after lunch.

Nana and my aunt chat.

Grandaddy supervises Emily on the Guitar Hero drum set.

The Boys.My nephew...isn't he adorable. Such a great photo subject...a boy of many faces.

Me and my precious neice...Miss Bella. She is so very snuggly.

Mike and Bella. I love this one.

Not much eating taking place at this table.

My beautiful girl.

Emily and Garrett enjoy yummy Christmas food.

Emily plays the drums....glad the drums stay at my sisters.

Cody plays a little Bon Jovi on Guitar Hero.

Camden adds some drums.

Now Mike gets in on the vocals.

Christmas Eve at my brother and sister in laws' home

Grace and some Hannah Montana goods.

This one is actually at my sisters...Emily and her serious face.

Come join us at "Chef Emilys"

Mike and Emily and some Hannah Montana stuff

Happy girl.

Cody and my nephew, Tony

Grace and Emily and their cousin, Allyson

Daniella and Christoper's Wedding

Mike snapped this one at the reception of a wedding we attended of a good friend. Daniella was a gorgeous bride.

THE NUTCRACKER BALLET

Waiting for the Nutcracker to begin....see the excitement in Emily's face.

My girls before the Nutcracker in the lobby of our condominum building.

Me and my girls.

Skiing at Copper Mountain

I took this one of Mike during our ski trip to Copper Mtn. just before we left for Florida. The photo doesn't even capture the breathtaking beauty of the Rocky Mountains. Can't wait to head to the mountains again.

Chatty Girl Gift Exchange

Last night we had our 2nd Annual Chatty Girl Gift Exchange. For those of you who don't know, I have the blessing of being apart of a close group of mom's who have all adopted daughters and son's from China. We connected through our adoption agency prior to traveling to China and the bond we all developed was incredible. Throughout these 2 1/2 years we have maintained intimate connections online and are eager to get together as often as possible. I love these women like sisters and am constantly in awe of how special each of them and their children are to me. This year we did a book exchange and Emily received a book from her friend Kate. She had waited patiently for weeks to open it and was delighted to receive The Perfect Christmas Tree. It is such a special book in that it is Kate's big sister, Emily's favorite Christmas story and takes place in the state where Kate lives. Emily was so eager for me to read it but had to wait until bed time when daddy read it to her. Here are a few pictures of Emily opening her book. Her long hair is a mess which brings up another topic that has been flowing around our house. To cut or not to cut. I have been wanting to grow Emily's hair but she wants a "pretty haircut". Right now, as you can see from the photo's her hair can get rather stringy and she HAS to have a bow otherwise it hangs in her eyes and looks scraggly. So we will see. Emily is very eager to go see Miss Tina and get a haircut but is so afraid to disappoint me as I have expressed how I love it long. And her nightgown in these pictures is a Grace hand-me-down. Emily has been waiting to fit into some of Grace's night gowns and finally after almost 2 years they finally fit and she couldn't have been happier.

We have been super busy getting ready for Christmas. I finished up my shopping yesterday and will spend today wrapping, cooking and cleaning. We treated the girls to the Nutcracker Ballet over the weekend and much to my disappointment they didn't like it. I LOVE the Nutcracker but my girls don't. Mike and I laughed and said that they probably would enjoy a Colorado Rodeo more....go figure. I have some deeper thoughts that I would love to share regarding expectations that parents often have of their children's likes and dislikes and how God sometimes gifts us with children who are very different than we are in order to expand our horizons but I will have to share later as the clock is ticking and I need to get going.

Once again, wishing you all memorable celebrations of Christmas!

Love and Hugs,

Nichole